THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
Once upon a time, Pepito was driving solo for the first time.
A police officer stopped him and asked, “Where do you live?”
“With my parents,” he replied.
The officer continued, “Where do your parents live?”
“Oh, with me!” Pepito said proudly.
“Where do you all live together?” the officer pressed on.
“Right next to my neighbor’s house,” he answered confidently.
Curious, the officer asked, “And where do your neighbors live?”
“If I tell you, you won’t believe it!” said Pepito.
“Just tell me,” the officer insisted.
“Next to my house!” Pepito exclaimed with a grin.
A police officer stopped him and asked, “Where do you live?”
“With my parents,” he replied.
The officer continued, “Where do your parents live?”
“Oh, with me!” Pepito said proudly.
“Where do you all live together?” the officer pressed on.
“Right next to my neighbor’s house,” he answered confidently.
Curious, the officer asked, “And where do your neighbors live?”
“If I tell you, you won’t believe it!” said Pepito.
“Just tell me,” the officer insisted.
“Next to my house!” Pepito exclaimed with a grin.
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
A man was selling a cat on the street
with a sign that read “Talking Cat For Sale.”
A kid walks by, intrigued, and asks the cat,
“Hey, is it true that you can talk?”
“Of course, kid!” replies the cat.
“No way!” says the kid.
“Yes way, amigo! I’ve worked as a security cat
for big celebrities!”
“No kidding? You’ve traveled the world?”
“Absolutely! Over 30 countries,
each with its own crazy story!”
“Wow! Do you speak other languages?”
“Sure! Besides Spanish, I speak English,
Portuguese, German, Mandarin, and Japanese!”
“No way, really?” says the amazed kid.
The kid turns to the seller and asks,
“Why are you selling such an amazing cat for just 50 bucks?”
The owner replies, “Because he’s a liar!
He’s never left the backyard!”
with a sign that read “Talking Cat For Sale.”
A kid walks by, intrigued, and asks the cat,
“Hey, is it true that you can talk?”
“Of course, kid!” replies the cat.
“No way!” says the kid.
“Yes way, amigo! I’ve worked as a security cat
for big celebrities!”
“No kidding? You’ve traveled the world?”
“Absolutely! Over 30 countries,
each with its own crazy story!”
“Wow! Do you speak other languages?”
“Sure! Besides Spanish, I speak English,
Portuguese, German, Mandarin, and Japanese!”
“No way, really?” says the amazed kid.
The kid turns to the seller and asks,
“Why are you selling such an amazing cat for just 50 bucks?”
The owner replies, “Because he’s a liar!
He’s never left the backyard!”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
Once upon a time, three friends were sailing in a tiny yacht.
Their captain, who was a bit of a stutterer, shouted, “When I say d-d-d-d-dive!”
The friends, excited, misheard him and immediately leaped into the sea.
As they swam to the shore, the captain panicked and screamed, “T-t-t-t-there’s a shark!”
But just before the last one could swim back,
they were already ahead and dived right back in!
The captain, still stuttering, yelled, “Shark-t-t-t-t! Get outta the water!”
And it turned out to be a dolphin!
They all laughed, realizing the only thing to fear was their captain’s jokes!
Their captain, who was a bit of a stutterer, shouted, “When I say d-d-d-d-dive!”
The friends, excited, misheard him and immediately leaped into the sea.
As they swam to the shore, the captain panicked and screamed, “T-t-t-t-there’s a shark!”
But just before the last one could swim back,
they were already ahead and dived right back in!
The captain, still stuttering, yelled, “Shark-t-t-t-t! Get outta the water!”
And it turned out to be a dolphin!
They all laughed, realizing the only thing to fear was their captain’s jokes!
THE BEST JOKES OF PEPITO!
“Hey, is my car fixed yet?”
“Yes, Mr. Jose, your car is ready.”
“Great! How much do I owe you?”
“That’s 800,000 pesos.”
“Why so much? It was just an oil change and spark plug cleaning!”
“Well, sir, we don’t charge for what we do,
we charge for what we know.”
“Really? And what do you know that’s worth so much?”
“We know you’ve been having an affair
with Sandra, your brother’s wife!
Let’s not have your wife and you
get into a little ‘accident,’ okay?
Do you want to pay via transfer,
or do you prefer cash?”
“Yes, Mr. Jose, your car is ready.”
“Great! How much do I owe you?”
“That’s 800,000 pesos.”
“Why so much? It was just an oil change and spark plug cleaning!”
“Well, sir, we don’t charge for what we do,
we charge for what we know.”
“Really? And what do you know that’s worth so much?”
“We know you’ve been having an affair
with Sandra, your brother’s wife!
Let’s not have your wife and you
get into a little ‘accident,’ okay?
Do you want to pay via transfer,
or do you prefer cash?”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
A 100-year-old man went to the doctor,
“Doc, I’m very worried!”
The doctor replied, “What seems to be the problem?”
The old man said, “I’m still chasing young ladies!”
The doctor chuckled, “Well, that is quite unusual!”
“But tell me, how can I help you?”
The old man sighed, “I chase them, but I can’t remember why!”
“Doc, I’m very worried!”
The doctor replied, “What seems to be the problem?”
The old man said, “I’m still chasing young ladies!”
The doctor chuckled, “Well, that is quite unusual!”
“But tell me, how can I help you?”
The old man sighed, “I chase them, but I can’t remember why!”
The Best Jokes of the Month
“So, what do you do for a living?”
“Well, I’m a mechanic!”
“Why a mechanic?”
“Because I love to ‘tune up’ car troubles!”
“That’s cool, that’s cool! And what about you?”
“Oh, I’m a bricklayer!”
“Why bricklaying?”
“Because building houses is my foundation!”
“Nice, nice! And you, what’s your name?”
“They call me Jacinto!”
“And what do you do, Jacinto?”
“Well, I’m proud to say I’m a lesbian!”
“Oh really? Well, that’s totally fine!”
“Yeah, it’s just that I really enjoy, you know, the sweeter sides of life!”
“Well, I respect that!”
“And who might you be?”
“I’m Tito!”
“And what’s your story, Tito?”
“I’ve known I love the ranch and cows, but now I realize I’m a fan of the girl’s side too!”
“Well, I’m a mechanic!”
“Why a mechanic?”
“Because I love to ‘tune up’ car troubles!”
“That’s cool, that’s cool! And what about you?”
“Oh, I’m a bricklayer!”
“Why bricklaying?”
“Because building houses is my foundation!”
“Nice, nice! And you, what’s your name?”
“They call me Jacinto!”
“And what do you do, Jacinto?”
“Well, I’m proud to say I’m a lesbian!”
“Oh really? Well, that’s totally fine!”
“Yeah, it’s just that I really enjoy, you know, the sweeter sides of life!”
“Well, I respect that!”
“And who might you be?”
“I’m Tito!”
“And what’s your story, Tito?”
“I’ve known I love the ranch and cows, but now I realize I’m a fan of the girl’s side too!”
Best Jokes of the Month
Why are you late, Pepito?
Oh, teacher, on my way here,
a man lost a $2,000 bill!
Oh wow! Did you help him find it?
Well, of course not!
I didn’t want to step on the money,
but that dude was not moving!
Oh, teacher, on my way here,
a man lost a $2,000 bill!
Oh wow! Did you help him find it?
Well, of course not!
I didn’t want to step on the money,
but that dude was not moving!
The Tale of Trujillo in the River
Once upon a time, the boss Trujillo was
taking a bath in a river,
when suddenly he sank and began to drown.
Three kids were passing by and saw him,
they rushed to help and observe the scene.
Grateful, Trujillo said to the kids,
“Ask for whatever you want,
and I’ll grant your wishes!”
Margarita, the most brazen,
immediately asked for a car.
Joselito asked for a bicycle,
but one that could light up like a disco!
When he asked Ping what he desired,
the boy replied,
“Boss Trujillo, I’d rather not say…”
Trujillo, proudly and a bit puzzled,
insisted, “Come on, don’t hold back!”
Then, scared, Ping said,
“How about you just bring back my dad?”
Trujillo, confused, asked,
“But why, kid? What happened?”
And Ping replied, “Well,
I was the one who brought him to the river!”
taking a bath in a river,
when suddenly he sank and began to drown.
Three kids were passing by and saw him,
they rushed to help and observe the scene.
Grateful, Trujillo said to the kids,
“Ask for whatever you want,
and I’ll grant your wishes!”
Margarita, the most brazen,
immediately asked for a car.
Joselito asked for a bicycle,
but one that could light up like a disco!
When he asked Ping what he desired,
the boy replied,
“Boss Trujillo, I’d rather not say…”
Trujillo, proudly and a bit puzzled,
insisted, “Come on, don’t hold back!”
Then, scared, Ping said,
“How about you just bring back my dad?”
Trujillo, confused, asked,
“But why, kid? What happened?”
And Ping replied, “Well,
I was the one who brought him to the river!”
THE BEST JOKES OF PEPITO!
An old man visits the dentist, ready to get a tooth pulled.
The dentist pulls out a huge syringe for the anesthesia.
“No way! I hate needles!” he exclaims.
She replies, “Okay, let’s try laughing gas!”
The old man gasps, “Just the thought of a mask suffocates me!”
“What about a pill?” she suggests.
“I don’t trust pills,” he says with a frown.
So she hands him two little pills, and he swallows them down.
“What are these, a joke?” he asks confused.
“No, just something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!”
The dentist pulls out a huge syringe for the anesthesia.
“No way! I hate needles!” he exclaims.
She replies, “Okay, let’s try laughing gas!”
The old man gasps, “Just the thought of a mask suffocates me!”
“What about a pill?” she suggests.
“I don’t trust pills,” he says with a frown.
So she hands him two little pills, and he swallows them down.
“What are these, a joke?” he asks confused.
“No, just something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!”
The Best Jokes of Pepito in the World!
Pepito’s mom was really upset about his grades,
so she went to talk to the teacher.
“Professor, I need to discuss the grade you gave my son!”
“Did you read his answers?” the teacher replied.
“Well, no, but how bad could they be to get an F?”
“Actually, he answered all the questions!”
“Really? Let me see what he wrote.”
“For question one, where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
And Pepito wrote, “On a blank piece of paper!”
“Question two: The Mississippi River runs through which state?”
Pepito said, “Liquid state!”
“If you have three cats in one box and two in another, how many cats do you have?”
He wrote, “Six, because there’s one at home!”
“What happens when you mix water with oil?”
He said, “The oil gets offended and floats to the top!”
“Why don’t planets collide?”
He wrote, “Because they all give each other space!”
“And finally, what is photosynthesis?”
He said, “It’s when you see a really pretty photo on Instagram!”
so she went to talk to the teacher.
“Professor, I need to discuss the grade you gave my son!”
“Did you read his answers?” the teacher replied.
“Well, no, but how bad could they be to get an F?”
“Actually, he answered all the questions!”
“Really? Let me see what he wrote.”
“For question one, where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
And Pepito wrote, “On a blank piece of paper!”
“Question two: The Mississippi River runs through which state?”
Pepito said, “Liquid state!”
“If you have three cats in one box and two in another, how many cats do you have?”
He wrote, “Six, because there’s one at home!”
“What happens when you mix water with oil?”
He said, “The oil gets offended and floats to the top!”
“Why don’t planets collide?”
He wrote, “Because they all give each other space!”
“And finally, what is photosynthesis?”
He said, “It’s when you see a really pretty photo on Instagram!”