The Best Jokes of the Month
“Hey Pepito,” said his mom, “you need to behave,
because every time you do something wrong,
a gray hair appears on my head!”
“Well, Mom,” replied Pepito, “you must have been a little troublemaker too,
because Grandma’s hair is as white as milk!”
because every time you do something wrong,
a gray hair appears on my head!”
“Well, Mom,” replied Pepito, “you must have been a little troublemaker too,
because Grandma’s hair is as white as milk!”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
Oh, my friend, I’m so happy with my husband!
He’s such a gentleman, bringing me flowers and chocolates every day.
He takes me on strolls, and we went to Hawaii for vacation!
He buys me new clothes every week and takes me to the movies and theater.
We dine at the finest restaurants and he showers me with jewels.
“What luck you have! But how’s the bedroom?”, you ask.
Well, we do have our special treatment…
“What do you mean?”
I say, “He treats, and I… well, I just pretend!”
He’s such a gentleman, bringing me flowers and chocolates every day.
He takes me on strolls, and we went to Hawaii for vacation!
He buys me new clothes every week and takes me to the movies and theater.
We dine at the finest restaurants and he showers me with jewels.
“What luck you have! But how’s the bedroom?”, you ask.
Well, we do have our special treatment…
“What do you mean?”
I say, “He treats, and I… well, I just pretend!”
The Best Jokes of the Month
Once there was a woman in a furniture store,
When an employee approached her and asked,
“Excuse me, miss, can I help you with something?”
She replied, “Yes, I need a queen-sized bed,
But all the ones you have are too low!”
The employee said, “Low? They’re the best on the market!”
She explained, “Let me show you what I mean,”
And she took off her clothes and jumped into a bed.
“Come on, young man, lie down with me, don’t be shy!”
The young man, stunned, couldn’t believe his eyes,
He lay down beside her, heart racing with surprise.
Suddenly, she screamed, “Oh no, my husband is home!
Quick, get under the bed, you’ll have to hide!”
Terrified, he tried to crawl beneath,
But he couldn’t quite fit, no way to sneak inside.
She said, “You see? I need a taller one for emergencies!”
When an employee approached her and asked,
“Excuse me, miss, can I help you with something?”
She replied, “Yes, I need a queen-sized bed,
But all the ones you have are too low!”
The employee said, “Low? They’re the best on the market!”
She explained, “Let me show you what I mean,”
And she took off her clothes and jumped into a bed.
“Come on, young man, lie down with me, don’t be shy!”
The young man, stunned, couldn’t believe his eyes,
He lay down beside her, heart racing with surprise.
Suddenly, she screamed, “Oh no, my husband is home!
Quick, get under the bed, you’ll have to hide!”
Terrified, he tried to crawl beneath,
But he couldn’t quite fit, no way to sneak inside.
She said, “You see? I need a taller one for emergencies!”
Short and Funny Jokes
Little Johnny asked his mom,
“Mom, Mom, why did Dad leave the house?”
Mom replied,
“Do you know how to delete WhatsApp chats?”
He said, “I do!”
Then she sighed,
“Well, it appears your dad doesn’t know how.”
The Best Jokes of the Month
One day, a man was on the street
giving away a parrot.
A woman walks by and asks,
“Excuse me, why are you giving away such a beautiful bird?”
The man replies,
“Well, this parrot lived in a house of love.”
“A house of love?” the woman asks.
“Yes, yes, you know, a house of…
oh never mind! I’ll take it!”
So she takes the parrot home.
When she arrives, the parrot squawks,
“New house, new owner!”
This makes the woman laugh.
Just then, two of her friends come over,
and the parrot exclaims,
“New house, new boss, new fun!”
The women chuckle at the parrot’s antics.
But when the woman’s husband walks in,
the parrot chirps,
“New house, new boss, same old clients!”
Just like Don Ramón!
giving away a parrot.
A woman walks by and asks,
“Excuse me, why are you giving away such a beautiful bird?”
The man replies,
“Well, this parrot lived in a house of love.”
“A house of love?” the woman asks.
“Yes, yes, you know, a house of…
oh never mind! I’ll take it!”
So she takes the parrot home.
When she arrives, the parrot squawks,
“New house, new owner!”
This makes the woman laugh.
Just then, two of her friends come over,
and the parrot exclaims,
“New house, new boss, new fun!”
The women chuckle at the parrot’s antics.
But when the woman’s husband walks in,
the parrot chirps,
“New house, new boss, same old clients!”
Just like Don Ramón!
The Best Jokes of the Month
One day, a little kid named Johnny walked into a place where the girls sold delicious snacks.
He saw a sign that said: Empanadas for 45 bucks, coffee for 30 bucks,
beers for 60 bucks, and happy ending massages for 600 bucks.
Johnny scratched his head, confused, and spotted a woman nearby.
He asked her, “Excuse me, are you the one selling the massages?”
She replied, “Yes, that’s me.”
Johnny thought for a moment and said, “Well, wash your hands well,
and bring me an empanada!”
He saw a sign that said: Empanadas for 45 bucks, coffee for 30 bucks,
beers for 60 bucks, and happy ending massages for 600 bucks.
Johnny scratched his head, confused, and spotted a woman nearby.
He asked her, “Excuse me, are you the one selling the massages?”
She replied, “Yes, that’s me.”
Johnny thought for a moment and said, “Well, wash your hands well,
and bring me an empanada!”
Drunken Jokes
A man stumbles home at dawn, feeling happy and fine.
He sneaks into the bedroom, ready for some fun time.
He sheds his clothes, jumps into bed, all feels just right,
After a wild rendezvous, he heads to the bathroom, what a night!
To his surprise, he finds his wife in the shower, oh what a sight,
“My God, weren’t you just in bed with me, darling, tight?”
“No, sweetie, I’ve been in here for over an hour,” she declares,
“Then who in the world did I just have a thrill with, beyond compare?”
She screams back, “Not my mom, you silly, it’s just the night’s blare!”
He sneaks into the bedroom, ready for some fun time.
He sheds his clothes, jumps into bed, all feels just right,
After a wild rendezvous, he heads to the bathroom, what a night!
To his surprise, he finds his wife in the shower, oh what a sight,
“My God, weren’t you just in bed with me, darling, tight?”
“No, sweetie, I’ve been in here for over an hour,” she declares,
“Then who in the world did I just have a thrill with, beyond compare?”
She screams back, “Not my mom, you silly, it’s just the night’s blare!”
WOMEN’S JOKES HAHA
Can someone explain why
married men gain weight
while single men stay slim?
The women fall silent,
then one finally says,
“I’ll tell you why!
Single men come home at night,
open the fridge,
find nothing they like,
and head straight to bed.
Married men, on the other hand,
come home at night,
go to bed, see nothing they enjoy,
and then head to the fridge!”
married men gain weight
while single men stay slim?
The women fall silent,
then one finally says,
“I’ll tell you why!
Single men come home at night,
open the fridge,
find nothing they like,
and head straight to bed.
Married men, on the other hand,
come home at night,
go to bed, see nothing they enjoy,
and then head to the fridge!”
Why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?
Husband: Honey,
Why don’t you tell me when you reach your peak?
Wife: Because I don’t like
to call you while you’re at work!
The Best Jokes of 2024 #humor #comedy #mexicanjokes
In complete darkness, the husband hears his wife say,
“Undo my blouse right now!”
“Alright, dear, now the bra, and drop it on the floor.”
“Okay, love, my skirt too, just leave it down there.”
“Alright, honey, when the light turns on,
let’s make sure you’re not wearing my clothes again!”
“Undo my blouse right now!”
“Alright, dear, now the bra, and drop it on the floor.”
“Okay, love, my skirt too, just leave it down there.”
“Alright, honey, when the light turns on,
let’s make sure you’re not wearing my clothes again!”