THE BEST JOKES ABOUT PEPITO!
“Yes, thank God! I’m so tired!”
“I know, it’s always a long day for you.”
“But you know how important your job is here, right?”
“I know, but some days I feel like I’m not doing enough.”
“Between the kids, the house, the cooking, everything feels chaotic!”
“And I feel like I’m going to lose my mind!”
“Never say you’re not doing enough, what you do here is more than enough!”
“In fact, it’s incredible!”
“I work 8 hours, but what you do for 24 hours…”
“Raising our kids, taking care of them, making sure everything’s in order is monumental!”
“I know you’re right, but many times people don’t get how hard it is.”
“It’s not just cooking or cleaning, it’s being emotionally available for the kids!”
“Teaching them, guiding them, attending to their needs, and that never ends!”
“You’re right, what you do is a job without hours, without rest, always with love!”
“Sometimes it’s not appreciated enough because society doesn’t see it as work.”
“But it’s the most important and hardest job in the world!”
“So even if it doesn’t always show at first glance, what you do every day…”
“Has a profound impact!”
“And I want to make sure you never feel alone in this.”
“The job of being a homemaker and a family mother is immensely valuable!”
“Even if many times it’s not visible or appreciated as it should be!”
“It requires constant effort, patience, and love!”
“And it’s essential for both partners to support each other!”
“Recognizing and valuing that effort is fundamental for a healthy and happy family!”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
and asks the lady,
“Excuse me, do you have Valentine’s cards
that say ‘for the love of my life’?”
The lady smiles and replies,
“Wow, how romantic!”
He nods and says,
“Yes, yes! I’ll take eight of those, please!”
Because who said romance doesn’t come in bulk?
The Parrot and the Flight Attendant
Suddenly, the flight attendant comes over and asks, “Excuse me, would you like anything?”
The man says, “Yes, I’d like a coffee, please.”
And the parrot shouts, “Hey, you silly flight attendant! I want a bag of peanuts, and I want it fast!”
The shocked flight attendant rushes off to get the peanuts for the parrot.
But then the guy says, “Excuse me, miss, you forgot my coffee!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I’ll get it right now!” she replies.
As she walks away, the parrot yells, “Hey, you idiot flight attendant! I want a bottle of water, and I want it quickly! Move it!”
The frightened woman hurries back to get water for the parrot.
“Miss, you forgot my coffee again!” he shouts.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!”
The man, watching the parrot be rude and the flight attendant running around, finally loses his patience and says, “Listen here, you foolish woman! I’ve asked for my damn coffee twice, where is it?”
The flight attendant, offended after all the disrespect, can’t take it anymore and throws the parrot and the man off the plane.
As they’re plummeting down, the parrot turns to the guy and says, “You know, buddy, you’ve got a foul mouth for someone who doesn’t know how to fly!”
THE FUNNIEST JOKES OF THE YEAR
“Pepito, give me a verse!”
Pepito replies,
“Here comes the kangaroo with a flower in his ear.”
The teacher frowns, “Pepito, fix your words!
Tell me the verse right!”
Pepito says,
“Here comes the kangaroo with a flower in his hair,
Because if he has it in his ear,
The teacher will surely scold me!”
THE BEST JOKES OF PEPITO IN THE WORLD!
And found her husband in bed with a young, attractive lady.
Naturally, she was very upset.
“You pig! How dare you do this to me?
I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children!
I’m leaving you! I want a divorce right now!”
“Wait a moment! Let me at least explain what happened!”
“Go ahead, but these will be your last words!”
“Well, I was driving home, and this young lady asked for a ride.
She looked so sad and helpless that I felt sorry for her.
So, I let her get in the car.
I realized she was very thin, poorly dressed, and dirty.
She told me she hadn’t eaten in three days,
So, out of compassion, I took her to our home,
And heated up the enchiladas I made for you last night,
The ones you refused to eat out of fear of gaining weight.
The poor girl devoured them in no time!
Since she needed a good cleaning, I suggested she take a shower,
And while she did, I noticed her clothes were filthy and full of holes,
So, I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes,
I gave her the pants you’ve had for years,
The ones you say are too tight.
I also handed over the anniversary underwear,
That you never wear because you say I have no taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas,
That you’ve avoided wearing just to annoy her.
I even donated those expensive boots you bought,
That you don’t use because a coworker has the same pair.
The husband took a quick breath and continued,
She was so grateful for my understanding and help,
That as I walked her to the door,
She turned to me with tears in
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The flight attendant comes by and asks, “Excuse me, would you like anything?”
The man replies, “Yes, I would like a coffee, please.”
The parrot chimes in, “Hey, stupid flight attendant, I want a bag of peanuts—and I want it fast!”
The flight attendant, startled, rushes to get the peanuts for the parrot.
Meanwhile, the man says, “Excuse me, miss, you forgot my coffee.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I’ll get it right now,” she replies.
As she leaves, the parrot yells, “Hey, idiot! I want a bottle of water, and I want it quick! Move it!”
The terrified attendant rushes to get the water.
The man, seeing how rude the parrot is, says, “Miss, you forgot my coffee again!”
“Oh, I apologize! I’m on it!” she exclaims.
Finally, the man, fed up with the rudeness, tells her, “Listen here, you dumb lady, I’ve asked for my coffee twice, and I still don’t have it! What’s wrong with you?”
Offended, the flight attendant can no longer take the insults.
She throws the parrot and the man out of the plane.
As they plummet down, the parrot says to the man, “You know, buddy, you have a filthy mouth for someone who can’t fly!”
The Best Jokes of the Month
The doctor examines her and says,
“Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”
The nun is shocked and replies,
“Pregnant? That’s impossible!
I’ve never been with a man!
My body belongs to the Holy Spirit!”
The doctor, surprised, runs to the window,
And the nun asks, “What are you doing, doctor?”
He replies, “Sister, the last time I saw a case like yours,
Three wise men showed up, and I can’t miss out on that one!”
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sneaking in through the back to avoid waking his wife.
He finds his dog, Fido, with the neighbor’s parrot in his mouth.
“Oh no!” he thinks, quickly grabbing the parrot,
and puts it back in the neighbor’s cage,
hoping it looks like it died of natural causes.
The next morning, his wife is sad, and he asks,
“What’s wrong, my love?”
“Oh honey, the neighbor’s parrot had a heart attack!”
“A heart attack?” he replies,
“Yes, she buried her parrot in the garden,
and it came back this morning,
right in the cage!”
Then there’s the dentist joke:
A man goes to get a tooth pulled,
and when they bring out the needle, he panics,
“No needles, I have a fear of them!”
“Okay,” says the dentist, “let’s use gas instead.”
“No way, I can’t stand that mask!”
The dentist leaves and comes back with a pill.
The man gulps it down without a fuss.
“By the way, what was that pill?” he asks.
“Oh, just the blue ones for older folks…”
“And what do those do?”
“So you have something to hold on to when I pull your tooth with no anesthesia!”
Pepito is watching TV,
hears a noise outside, and opens the door,
only to find his dad drunk.
“Oh wow, dad, what a beautiful hangover!”
Dad replies, “Thanks, son, but I’m sure your mom will find a flaw in it!”
A genie appears to a woman,
and she wishes for her husband to only see her,
travel with her, and never leave her side.
The genie thinks and turns her into a smartphone!
The boyfriend approaches his girlfriend’s dad.
“Hello, sir! I wanted to talk about your daughter.”
“What do you want?” the dad growls.
“We’re in a relationship and… want your approval!”
The dad grumbles, “You think you’re asking for my daughter’s hand?”
“No, you’re wrong, I’m done with all that!”
The next day, the wife cries,
“God, 20 years in jail!”
The husband says, “No worries, I talked to the judge,
and every time I make love with him,
they’ll reduce my sentence by a year!”
“Oh, I hate that judge! What did you tell him?”
“That’s not important, just pack up,
you’re coming home today!”
Meanwhile, Pepito hops in a taxi and says,
“If my dad were an elephant and my mom an elephant,
I’d be a little elephant!”
The driver smiles and says, “And if your parents were drunkards?”
Pepito beams, “Then I’d definitely be a taxi driver!”
A man in a taxi gets annoyed
when the driver plays loud music.
“Please lower the volume, my religion forbids music.”
The driver, irritated, turns it down.
After a bit, he lights a cigarette.
“Excuse me, can you put that out? My religion forbids smoking.”
The driver, fed up, stops the taxi.
“Get out!”
“Why?” asks the man.
“Because in the time of the prophet, there were no taxis!”
THE BEST JOKES OF PEPITO!
One day, Pepito and his brothers went to the vet
because their old and sick dog, Firulais, needed help.
Pepito asked the vet, “Sir, why do dogs live shorter lives than humans?”
The vet paused, looked at him and said,
“You see, Pepito, people come to this world to learn how to live well,
to love others all the time and be good humans.
But dogs, well, they’re born knowing all that,
so they don’t need to stick around as long as we do.”
Pepito, astonished, asked, “Wait a minute, who taught them all that?”
The vet replied, “I’m not sure, Pepito.
But if a dog were your teacher, you’d learn things like:
When your loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never miss the chance to go for a walk
and let the fresh air and wind on your face be pure joy.
When you’re happy, dance—shake your whole body!
Enjoy the simple things, like a long walk.
If what you want is buried, dig for it persistent
and never forget; when someone is having a bad day,
just sit close and quietly let them feel
your presence, keeping it real.”
THE STORY OF THE DONKEY AND THE PRIEST
and the holy priest proclaimed, “My son, it’s time for some boxing!”
The farmer asked, “Who will watch over my donkey?”
The priest replied, “Don’t worry, my child, I’ll take care of her!”
So the farmer went in and took a seat,
but as the priest began the mass, he said, “Dear brothers, God is with us!”
Yet outside, the farmer shouted, “But who’s watching my donkey?!”