The Most Viral Jokes of the Year
As the mother-in-law feels her last breath,
she gazes out the window and whispers,
“What a beautiful sunset!”
The son-in-law, with a grin, replies,
“Don’t get distracted, mother-in-law,
focus on the tunnel ahead!”
she gazes out the window and whispers,
“What a beautiful sunset!”
The son-in-law, with a grin, replies,
“Don’t get distracted, mother-in-law,
focus on the tunnel ahead!”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
Grandma walks up to the prison gate,
and says to the guard, “I’m here for a conjugal visit.”
The guard raises an eyebrow, “Grandma, for a visit like that?
With whom?”
She grins, “Oh, whoever’s available, dear!”
and says to the guard, “I’m here for a conjugal visit.”
The guard raises an eyebrow, “Grandma, for a visit like that?
With whom?”
She grins, “Oh, whoever’s available, dear!”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
Pepito raises his hand in class,
“Teacher, if you define this word,
I’ll get 10 points!”
“Alright, Pepito! What’s the word?”
“The word is…
‘rest’.”
“But, teacher, I don’t know what that means!”
“I’ll give you a hint:
What does your dad do after work?”
“Oh teacher, that’s the same thing
my mom wants to know!”
“Teacher, if you define this word,
I’ll get 10 points!”
“Alright, Pepito! What’s the word?”
“The word is…
‘rest’.”
“But, teacher, I don’t know what that means!”
“I’ll give you a hint:
What does your dad do after work?”
“Oh teacher, that’s the same thing
my mom wants to know!”
The Best Jokes of the Month
A little boy goes to his mom and asks,
“Mom, how are babies born?”
His mom replies,
“Well, honey, first comes the head,
then the little arms,
next the body,
and finally the feet.”
The boy thinks for a moment and says,
“Oh, and then they just put them together!”
“Mom, how are babies born?”
His mom replies,
“Well, honey, first comes the head,
then the little arms,
next the body,
and finally the feet.”
The boy thinks for a moment and says,
“Oh, and then they just put them together!”
THE MOST VIRAL JOKES OF THE YEAR
“So, Pepito was sitting with his grandpa,”
“and the old man, all excited, says,”
“‘When I was your age, I went on a safari in Africa!’”
“Pepito gasps, ‘No way, Grandpa! Seriously?’”
“‘Yes, yes! I was walking alone through the jungle!’”
“‘Oh really? And then what happened?’”
“‘Suddenly, a five-foot tall lion jumped right on me!’”
“Wow! Pepito exclaimed, ‘That’s incredible!’”
“‘Don’t worry, Grandpa,’ he chuckled,
“‘Anyone would have freaked out!’”
“‘No, Pepito,’ the grandpa replied,
“‘I mean, I just… kinda spilled my drink!’”
“and the old man, all excited, says,”
“‘When I was your age, I went on a safari in Africa!’”
“Pepito gasps, ‘No way, Grandpa! Seriously?’”
“‘Yes, yes! I was walking alone through the jungle!’”
“‘Oh really? And then what happened?’”
“‘Suddenly, a five-foot tall lion jumped right on me!’”
“Wow! Pepito exclaimed, ‘That’s incredible!’”
“‘Don’t worry, Grandpa,’ he chuckled,
“‘Anyone would have freaked out!’”
“‘No, Pepito,’ the grandpa replied,
“‘I mean, I just… kinda spilled my drink!’”
The Best Jokes of the Month
Pepito walks up to his future father-in-law,
saying, “Sir, I walked five blocks to talk to you.
I want to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage!”
“So, you don’t have a car?” asks the father.
“No, I sold my bike!” replies Pepito.
“And just how much do you earn?” the father queries.
“$800 a week,” says Pepito.
The father scoffs, “How on earth do you plan to support my daughter with that?
That’s barely enough to buy toilet paper!”
Later, Pepito asks his girlfriend,
“What did your dad say?”
She giggles and replies, “Apparently, he thinks you have a ‘crap’ income!”
saying, “Sir, I walked five blocks to talk to you.
I want to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage!”
“So, you don’t have a car?” asks the father.
“No, I sold my bike!” replies Pepito.
“And just how much do you earn?” the father queries.
“$800 a week,” says Pepito.
The father scoffs, “How on earth do you plan to support my daughter with that?
That’s barely enough to buy toilet paper!”
Later, Pepito asks his girlfriend,
“What did your dad say?”
She giggles and replies, “Apparently, he thinks you have a ‘crap’ income!”
The Best Jokes of the Month
One day, Pepito’s mom had twins,
So his dad said, “Hey Pepito,
Tell your teacher you have two new siblings,
And that’s why you won’t go to school tomorrow,
You’ll be busy meeting them.”
“Okay, Dad!” said Pepito.
The next day, his dad asked,
“What did you tell your teacher?”
Pepito replied,
“I told her I had a brother,
And I was going to meet him.”
“But I said to tell her you had two!”
Pepito grinned,
“I saved the other one for next week!”
So his dad said, “Hey Pepito,
Tell your teacher you have two new siblings,
And that’s why you won’t go to school tomorrow,
You’ll be busy meeting them.”
“Okay, Dad!” said Pepito.
The next day, his dad asked,
“What did you tell your teacher?”
Pepito replied,
“I told her I had a brother,
And I was going to meet him.”
“But I said to tell her you had two!”
Pepito grinned,
“I saved the other one for next week!”
THE BEST JOKES OF PEPITO!
Once upon a time, there was a farmer
who sold a pound of butter to a baker every week.
After several weeks, the baker said,
“Hmm, I need to make sure this farmer is giving me a pound of butter.”
So he decided to weigh it.
When he checked, he discovered the butter was short a pound!
Furious, he felt cheated. “That crook thinks I’m a fool!”
He took the farmer to court.
The judge asked the farmer, “How do you weigh the butter?”
“Your Honor, I’m a poor man, I don’t have modern scales.
But I do have a scale,” he said.
“A scale?” cried the judge. “Yes, Your Honor!
I’ve also been buying a one-pound bag of bread from that baker
long before he started selling me butter.
Every time the bread arrives, I weigh it on the scale,
and then I measure out the same weight in butter to exchange!
So if the baker doesn’t give me a pound of butter,
he’s not giving me a pound of bread either, as promised!”
The moral: You get what you give,
if you try to cheat others with what you promise,
you’ll end up getting cheated too.
That’s karma for you!
who sold a pound of butter to a baker every week.
After several weeks, the baker said,
“Hmm, I need to make sure this farmer is giving me a pound of butter.”
So he decided to weigh it.
When he checked, he discovered the butter was short a pound!
Furious, he felt cheated. “That crook thinks I’m a fool!”
He took the farmer to court.
The judge asked the farmer, “How do you weigh the butter?”
“Your Honor, I’m a poor man, I don’t have modern scales.
But I do have a scale,” he said.
“A scale?” cried the judge. “Yes, Your Honor!
I’ve also been buying a one-pound bag of bread from that baker
long before he started selling me butter.
Every time the bread arrives, I weigh it on the scale,
and then I measure out the same weight in butter to exchange!
So if the baker doesn’t give me a pound of butter,
he’s not giving me a pound of bread either, as promised!”
The moral: You get what you give,
if you try to cheat others with what you promise,
you’ll end up getting cheated too.
That’s karma for you!
The Best Jokes of the Month
“Hey Mom, can you help me with my prayers?”
“Sure, Pepito! Just pray for our family, friends, neighbors, and the poor.”
“Okay, here I go!”
“Dear God, thank you for our neighbor and his kid,
who devoured all the ice cream in the fridge.
Bless them so they don’t come back for more!
And forgive our neighbor’s son,
who took my sister’s clothes and wrestled her in bed!
For Christmas, I ask you to send clothes to
all those naked ladies my dad has on his phone,
and give a home to all those men who
use my mom’s bedroom while my dad is at work!”
“Sure, Pepito! Just pray for our family, friends, neighbors, and the poor.”
“Okay, here I go!”
“Dear God, thank you for our neighbor and his kid,
who devoured all the ice cream in the fridge.
Bless them so they don’t come back for more!
And forgive our neighbor’s son,
who took my sister’s clothes and wrestled her in bed!
For Christmas, I ask you to send clothes to
all those naked ladies my dad has on his phone,
and give a home to all those men who
use my mom’s bedroom while my dad is at work!”
Hahaha Wow
Once, a nun was writing a very important letter to the Monsignor,
and she couldn’t decide if she should call him Monsignor or Don Monsignor.
To avoid making a mistake, she asked the Mother Superior,
“Excuse me, Mother Superior, is it Monsignor with a Don?”
“Of course, my child! He uses it for me.”
“But I don’t know about you!”
and she couldn’t decide if she should call him Monsignor or Don Monsignor.
To avoid making a mistake, she asked the Mother Superior,
“Excuse me, Mother Superior, is it Monsignor with a Don?”
“Of course, my child! He uses it for me.”
“But I don’t know about you!”